Airports Aeroplanes Public transport I mean the buses, the trains, the tube, the people Too many people Not enough people Teaching classes Calling in sick (liar) My parents going away My fiancé going out My apartment, alone, the dark Food Too much food Not enough food Shopping for food Judgement Doing things wrong Whatever that… Continue reading Sorry, That Gives Me Anxiety.
So, here I am, sitting with my cup of coffee, huddled under a blanket, gazing outside and I'm thinking about the new year that lays ahead. New year 'New year new me' New Years resolutions New year 'goals' Its brand spanking new and you know what? I'm over it. Yep, I said it, New Years… Continue reading New Year, Not So New Me
Christmas, the time of year for merriment and cheer, but that's not the case for everyone. This season can present itself as a burden, both financially, physically and mentally. We are spending a lot (or feel the need to), we are focusing a lot on other people, we are trying to get every bit of… Continue reading A Christmas Themed Anxiety
Sometimes I see a body, or I overhear a weight, or I listen to discussions about diets and exercise and the walls that I've built up around my 'eating disorder voice' crack. Thoughts start to dribble through into the safe space that I've created. Then I'll see the body I dreamed of having, walk past… Continue reading Keeping Thoughts At Bay
Fitspo/Fitsporation: Images or words that women (or men) post with the purpose of inspiring others to live a fit and healthy lifestyle. 50,039,695 Fitspo posts are floating around Instagram as I write this blog post, sitting in a corner of Starbucks, sipping coffee and eating cake between the two spin classes I teach on a… Continue reading Is ‘Fitspo’ Damaging Our Mental Well-being?
To be jolly? To panic? To dread? To become increasingly overwhelmed? I bring you: Christmas with an eating disorder. It's nearly here! Decorations are going up, gifts are being purchased, Christmas songs are on repeat and I've even dug out my festive onesie! It's by far my favourite time of the year (hello cliche) and… Continue reading ‘Tis The Season…
I like to think that I write on this blog with transparency. Not for attention, not for validation, not for likes or follows, but with an openness and a hope to help others. With that in mind, right now I'm struggling. But not in that obvious 'I'm purging majority of my food intake' way. It's… Continue reading Stuck In A Rut
Disclaimer: I don't engage in these behaviours much anymore but I wanted to touch on this delicate subject in a different way. To show people who may not understand the illness, how soul destroying it can be. If you have an eating disorder or are recovering I would advise you not to read this post.… Continue reading A Day With Bulimia
Negative body image, a topic that we, as a society, bond over. Especially women. I get it, we need common ground, something we can fall back on when the talk of the weather gets a little too tedious. Something that makes us feel a little less alone with our 'flaws'. But surely there are more… Continue reading Why I Can’t Entertain Your Negative Body Chit Chat Anymore
Beep. Beep. Beep. The annoyingly upbeat sound of a brand new day. Wrapped in the safety of darkness, I try and ignore the emerging feeling of dread as I battle through sleep dust and yesterday's forgotten mascara to open my eyes. Coffee first. Maybe tea? Then food. All the while pretending I can't feel the… Continue reading My Anxiety (and ways to cope)